Why do we homeschool?
We all want the best for our children.
We want them to have the opportunity they need to succeed. We want them to have what we feel we missed or wish we had. We want them to experience and value what’s important to our family.
For some it’s the freedom to pursue what they love or to get the help they need. For others it is freedom to follow a religious choice. And for some it’s a chance to be free from a possibly unsafe environment.
Most of us would say that we do it out of love. Love for our children.
But have we ever stopped to consider that we may also homeschool out of fear?
Fear that our children will not get the help they need at school to become successful in our everyday world. Fear that they will attend an uncaring school, one that doesn’t reflect the values and needs that our children require. Fear that they will not fit in to the social groups and norms of school. The peer pressure and “bad” influences. Fear that they will experience pain and suffering because of it. Fear that they will lose the religious values and morals that are essential to some.
Are we aware that we’re fearful? How does this reflect in our homeschool life?
Have you had what you feel are great homeschool days, and then other days that you think are a complete write off? The other day was a day like that in our house. Emotions ran high, I was frustrated and upset, the kids were upset, my husband was upset. We argued with the kids, we lost energy, we lost perspective.
Our momentum was interrupted because of this upset.
This is just one example. Have you ever had days like this? Where does this start? How does it happen?
Have you ever felt upset that your child is not doing what you ask? Have you ever felt tired and under- appreciated?
Have you ever gotten upset or angry because the kids are not “working” or doing what you have asked of them? They are not following what you had “envisioned” for homeschool? You tell yourself (and maybe them) that you are concerned that they will fall behind their peers in school. That they are not at the same level as some of your friend’s children?
But what is the real fear here?
The fear is that you are not a good parent because you have failed. Failed at homeschooling, failed at providing them with what you thought you could do better. Failed at helping them be the best they could be. They would be failures and therefore you would be a failure.
That is just one example of a fear. A fear that, as a parent and adult, I admit having. What kind of fears do you hold onto?
We keep these fears in our lives, bring them into our homeschooling environment, into our children’s lives and into their mindset. With these fears, are we giving them the tools for success?
How would homeschool life be different if we lived each moment out of love instead of fear? How different would our relationships be with our children? Our partner? How different would homeschool be?
Would life be different if we let go of our fear of failure, our fear of being judged, our fear of what our children look like to others? If we worked on and let go of our fear of what we look like — to our community, family, church, friends – would our homeschool experience change?
Would you still even homeschool?
My friend and I joke that homeschooling is a personal mirror of our bad parenting and life skills. We laugh about the truth of it. Every day we are tested. Our parenting skills, our moods, our patience. It’s all magnified.
How are we choosing to live each day? How are we choosing to homeschool?
Are we doing this out of love or fear? Are we living each moment out of love or fear?
This was post encouraged by a video a friend had shared on Facebook.
I encourage you to watch it. Find it on this link.